my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
