my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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