she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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