I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
one might say we're banned from that church
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
