the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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