Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
