Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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