so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
