Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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