I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
