from now on my penis is your penis
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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