I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
