just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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