just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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