Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
should my penis look like a turkey
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
