You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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