it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
