garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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