Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
