He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
