This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
