no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
