I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
