I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
