STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
