I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
