I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
