The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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