my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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