Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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