I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
