i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
