I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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