scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
