you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I need water and some morals
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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