i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I wear drunk well.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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