I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
