omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
