im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
