omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
