real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
