HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
