what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
