i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
