you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
