i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
