remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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