I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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