You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
