Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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