I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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