I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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