I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
