ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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