Fine. I'll sleep in my office
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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