im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
it glows. i had to have it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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