we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
