I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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